Merry Christmas, Ruby Barnes!
Ruby: Bloated, lazy, flatulent …
If you could have a relationship with a literary festive character who would it be and why?
Ruby: I would have to go for Mrs Claus because I know the window of opportunity when Mr Claus is going to be away from home. And I know she gets neglected in the run up to Christmas as Santa is too busy minding his elves and petting his reindeer.
If you had to exist for a week in a Christmas story … which one would it be?
Ruby: A Christmas Carol. I’ve always been a bit of a Scrooge and I like having the bejayzus scared out of me.
Ruby: I’d invite Hannibal Lecter and serve up a few “friends” who have done me disservice, plus a nice Chianti. Skip the fava beans as I’ve always found them a bit sour. If Hannibal the Cannibal is busy then I would go for a more orthodox Yuletide invite list with Thomas Hardy, Agatha Christie, John Irving, John Fowles, Ian Banks and Emily Bronte. I’d still serve up a few “friends” but would cunningly disguise the meat as local Irish cuisine.
If you had to write a Christmas themed story in your current genre, what would the title be?
Ruby: 2015 has been the year of the zombie for Ruby Barnes so it would be something biblical but undead – Return of The Baptist.
What do you dislike the most about Christmas?
Favourite Festive Word?
Ruby: Crumble. Christmas is one of the few times of the year that there’s always apple or rhubarb crumble available with custard. I like it cold so the whole thing gets kind of stodgy. I also like the word crumble as it sounds a bit like Christmas, but mainly because the “cr” sound makes Mrs R cringe like a crazy cry-baby. Actually now I’m really looking forward to Christmas.